The Fuax Looking Moon.... / Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Tonight is another full moon.. i saw it hanging in a slightly darken clear blue sky
looking all so FAKE!
Like a cut out or a Lamp, all so round and brilliant.
How is that so? Am i seeing things?
Maybe i am...
I begin to think about my past and what i've done...
Everything seemed like yesterday...
I would hear your groan about the pain you have...
I wished back then that God had given it to me instead.
And he did, i fell and broke my wrist.
I didnt tell noone, not even Mom where i was hospitalised.
Since i didnt want her to visit me. But she did, and she came.. with all her pain
just to see me lying there right after the surgery.
This is the third time in life i have had surgery that you witnessed.
I felt the pain in your heart, but i couldnt do much. As you left i teared so hard..
And soon after i recovered, you went back to for more intense medication in the hospital....
Each day you fought so hard,
But at the same time you wanted to give up...
Daily i see your pain... eating you away bit by bit..
till the day i held you hands..
i trembled at my feet, knowing its the end...
You didn't speak... and i didnt even got to say anything else..
Then it was all too late...
Your hand.. all stiff and cold...
I needed to break out, i needed to fall...
But i just couldnt... somehow i know you wont want me to...
I kept it in.. all so hard... with everything else i had to shoulder..
God, I pray that My Mom is now safe in your keep.
Give her the happiness i failed to bring..
Tell her i still miss her and love her so...
/this is the me in I.
10:45 PM
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