Moving on... / Tuesday, November 11, 2008
I should start to realise that everything made to be, was made to be so.
I can't change it.. no matter what...
I shouldn't hang on too tightly to dreams and wishes that will never come true..
Then again... I dont feel like doing anything else but to cling onto something... someone even...
All i can rely is myself... I'll never have the guts to say my problems to everyone else...
Why? I dont know.. i just dont...
Setting that aside... since its of no big deal....
Why am i so low on about life you might ask...
Why am i such a pessimist about myself again you'll ask...
The only replies I have are What is there to be happy of, that i should be content with?
Also.. whats there to look at for a bright side if one's to be kept ready at all times? shouldnt we look out for the worst and be prepared about it?
I dont seem to understand what i'm doing already...
Why did i choose to study?
Why did i choose to forgo my work?
Why am i never able to put my heart away from her?
Why am i still alive when i yearn not to?
most of all, Why am i here.. What is my purpose..? Where is my next location?
Mom.. It already been more than 2 years since i last saw you smile...
it feels more like a hundred years..
I can only tear everytime i think of you...
I cant be assured that everything at home is going right...
Dad has another company setup with his girl-friend...
Sis has finalized her seperation and divorce.. NOW has a new boyfriend...
And i'm not even sure if i'm Sheryl's jui jui anymore...
I feel like i'm living with strangers...
theres no more homey feeling here...
yet i cant leave this place for another... sigh..
If only i could turn back time, take your pain away.. and be with you more...
Now i rather live alone... in solitude... and in peace of mind....
where i hope i can rest a foreverness and feel no more....
/this is the me in I.
12:54 AM
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