Wonder if it'll go any worse.. / Wednesday, December 10, 2008
time and time again, i return here to speak to myself...
to ask myself... whats my purpose in life, why am i here... what should i do next? how do i go on?
questions that i've always been searching for answers for, in vain..
Never understood why its always going bad for me, am i just taking it wrong? or was it already set wrong for me? Am i given a tough life? i doubt so, i dare not compare.. i'm sure theres others in situations that are bad as well...
Cant believe my dad went back on his word about the car... sigh..
confirmed with him i needed the car.. and now he says he has to use it... and i'm supposed to give in to him..
Then before that, while he was doing his washing, he complained, "next time TELL HER to do her own laundry...!" wth? now its HER? she's your daughter, my sister... you used to called 'jie' in front of me... now its Her?
So am i still considered Ah Yao? or Him?
Mom, i've lost the will to fight... the strength to carry on...
i dont think i can survive any much longer..
I was home alone for 3 days.. and one of which there was a black out... that i had to stay in for almost 2hrs...
then i realised, how dark our home can be..
i felt so alone.. so frustrated.. so lost.. nostalgiC... oh thats how i feel everyday...
God, i pray to you again, give me the strength i lost...
show me the light, the way... point me to the place i wish for...
fulfil my dreams.. take me there and allow me to see the world...
most of all, please take care of my loving mother, she's more important to me than anything else..
i lost her, presumebly a reason, so now show me that reason...
/this is the me in I.
12:12 AM
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