Bothered....by... something.... / Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Couldnt get myself to sleep...
even being so tired...
aches everywhere...
back's really bad...
but what can i do? i cant let people down...
i'd do what i can, till i cant tick anymore...
However, theres something bothering me...
Not quite sure exactly... Its there... but then again...
Its not...?
I seek for answers..
That usually opposes my thoughts....
Would there be a remedy? I'm not too sure...
Too much things i need to let go and move on...
Those are the things i hold on to yet most tightly...
What am I to the people around me?
A tool? A past time?
Am i Disposible? or Reusable?
Damn... Why am I even thinking about all these...
Its gonna be a tough mid to end of year now...
gotta hang on with whatever theres left in my wallet....
I'm not gonna last long enough.. that i'm sure...
I'm sorry darling, for i've done my best...
In sights to see you smile...
doubtfully i'll be able to... ever..
The joke you said over msn.. hangs over me...
The thought makes me wanna kill myself...
Whats there to know?
The truth hurts the most...
Whats there to seek?
Since I've no need...
Why do I carry on these thoughts...
When it brings my fears out...
Why do I hold on to what's over..
When it stays on and hovers...
Mom...
I dont think i can carry on much longer...
I've really used up all my strength...
I've got no more zeal to do anything else...
My mind's set to lying down.. and sleeping forever...
Every night makes me want to never wake up...
Should I just give up on everything?
And leave them all as it should?
Should I just be less bothered about others?
And be more heartless then selfless?
How did you manage to handle so much...
And yet still stay strong?
sigh...
/this is the me in I.
3:36 AM
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