The feel of being lost... / Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Ever felt that everything you do is useless?
Everything you said is ignored?
Everything you've done was a waste?
Well.. i Have...
And its back again to huant me...
Wonder if i'm putting too much effort into doing things
for people, and not for me....
It seems that darling is having trouble with her work..
and her studies are really not getting on well...
hope she does her bestest!
tho i know what i say here is only words.. nothing else...
We chatted quite abit... and it seems that she's having a lot of troubles with him...
I'm sad that she is... its breaking my heart that someone would do that to darling...
But i cant do anything....
"The truth is... I gave my life away a long time ago,
my whole ... and I never really got it back"
She asked me whats with this msn nick i placed?
Well darling, i gave my life to you... which was my everything...
however, it seems that i've not taken it all back.. rather i didnt...
I'm standing right here.. thinking if i should/could...
i really dont know...
We finally spoke on the phone... for a mere 3min conversation..
was panting heavily so i couldnt hear you.. that day...
fate put me not able to see you either.. oh well... nothing ever goes my way anyway..
getting to chat with you and hear you is all i can ask for..
And i wont ask for more.. I'm not in the position to do so....
You also said your blog posts your happy memories, and you said i was part of those happy times... but they werent blogged now, were they? haha....*silly joke*
However darling...
"Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad,
but it's everything in between that makes it all worth living"
Feeling overwhelmed... i take a dive..
To a once overfilled but now empty place to hide...
The day you turned on me is the day i died...
And i've forgotten how it feels to be alive...
I've spent my time not so wisely...
none with my family... most at school... and a lil at work...
sigh.. being tired is 1 thing... stupid flu is still lingering...
I dread the stupid weather thats coming along... argh...
Mom... we've all missed you...
I'm dead tired.. and can't think of any other ways to go on..
I've spent my remaining strength doing what i should.. and some i shouldnt..
I know i've not done well...
Guide me to do better.. guide me to see your smile...
I've lost the sanity in me.. and i cant wait to break it off....
I'd try to reach out to the sky...
when nothing seems to go right for me...
then again.. whats remained for me to grab?
As all i see is just pitch black and empty...
I pieced back my heart to only shatter it again...
so i dusted it all away.. and leave it all in my mind...
I can't bear to lose her.. but i can't have her...
So as long as she's all smiles.. i'd go with my eyes closed...
/this is the me in I.
2:10 AM
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